After The War
by starmaninthesky
Summary: Warnings:Slash,Incest,Suicide,mpreg Sirius/Remus Sirius/OC
1. Chapter 1

AN: No I don't own Harry Potter or any related affiliates etc. etc. Sorry about the choppiness in the beginning. My computer crashed and I had to write the whole thing over from memory. You know how it is. It was perfect the first time and it'll never be the same.

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were lovers once, but they split apart during the war. The anxiety and doubts were too much for them. Their friends, James and Lily Potter, survived the war and lived happily in their home in Godric's Hollow with their young son Harry. Like most married couples, especially after having a child, all their attention was turned inward toward their family, leaving no room for single friends and the occupations of single people. Remus Lupin left and was never seen again by them after the break-up. Sirius made himself scarce, but he still came by sometimes to see his godson, Harry.

Twenty years later, Sirius was still single. None of his boyfriends ever measured up to Remus, in fact, if he could have ever admitted it to himself, he was still in love with him. Then he met Aaron, a lovely, witty blond beauty. He thought he was in love.

Sirius checked him perfect reflection one last time. Yes there were a few wrinkles, but not a lot. And his body was carefully maintained. He threw on a jacket and went out to his car, a jet black Turbo, and went off to pick up his boyfriend.

Aaron had left the door unlocked for him so he went right in. "Honey, I'm hoome," he called out.

Aaron stuck his head out of the bathroom. "Hey babe. Ready for a night out?"

Sirius struck a pose. "The question is- are you ready?"

"Just checkin up in my old geester boyfriend. Wouldn't want you to get worn out."

"Hey!" Sirius protested. "I'm not that old."

Aaron came out of the bathroom to kiss him. "I'm just teasing."

He twirled around to give Sirius the full effect of his outfit. "How do I look?" he asked

The leather pants and white dress shirt set of Aaron's lean muscled body and golden brown hair to good effect.

"Great. Too bad I'm too old to enjoy it."

He turned around, mouth open to reassure his lover, but the older man was laughing. "Come on let's go."

After a long night of dancing and drinking, the happy pair were ready to go home.

They were speeding along the highway, Aaron's head on Sirius' shoulder, when he suddenly said, "It's just so annoying when my friends tell me you're too old for me. If we love each other it doesn't matter how old we are."

"Who said that?" Sirius frowned.

"Nobody important. I just wanna punch them for being like that."

"Hell, I'll punch them."

Aaron looked at him adoringly. "I know you would." A moment later he let out a little laugh.

"What?"

"I was just thinking. You're the same age as my dad, but I can't even imagine him punching anyone. It's almost ridiculous."

"What's your dad like?" the older man asked.

"He's really quiet most of the time. He's sad I guess. He teaches at a prep school for kids that are gonna get sent off to boarding school."

"Did you go to boarding school?"

"Yeah. In Scotland."

Sirius hesitated, then said carefully, "I went to boarding school too. The students used to call it Hogwarts-"

"Oh my god! You went to Hogwarts?" Aaron gasped.

"Yeah. A long time ago. Wow. This means we're both wizards. Is your dad one too?"

"Of course. I can't believe... why did we never talk about this before?"

Sirius shook his head in amazement. "It would never have occurred to me. I don't even use magic since the war ended."

"You were in the war?"

"Aaron, everybody was in the war. I was part of an anti terrorist organization. The Order of the Phoenix."

"Oh my god. Dad was in that too! You guys are the same age, you must've known each other. You might even have met my other dad. My dad won't talk about him. I don't even know his name."

Sirius gave him a quizzical look. "You mean..."

"He had this lover, I think he must've died or something, but anyway my dad got pregnant. I was born right after the war ended."

"Well, what was your dad's name?" As he said this Sirius got a sort or premonitory feeling, a chill went up his back.

"Remus. Weird isn't it?"

Sirius veered off the road onto the shoulder and leapt out of the car. He bent over, hands on his knees, and retched in the road. Aaron scrambled out and started rubbing his back. "Are you ok? Did you eat something funny?"

Sirius shook his head. "I'm... fine."

Aaron went to give him a kiss and he jerked away. "Can you drive? I don't think I can make it."

He did, giving his lover strange looks the whole way. When they got there Sirius almost ran into the house and poured himself a stiff drink. Aaron was right on his heels.

He tried to embrace the taller man again. "Stop it!" Sirius cried out, then he saw the hurt on the blond's face. "I'm sorry. It's just... I'd rather break it to you gently."

He went over to the linen closet, bent down, pulled out a panel and retrieved a shoebox and several photo albums from the hidden cupboard. He led the way back to the living room and sat Aaron on the couch. He took a separate seat. "i just want you to know that none of this is your fault. I should have realized. The fault is mine."

Sirius opened an album marked sixth year, turned to the back and handed it to Aaron. The blond scanned it, looking for clues. "Isn't that you?" he asked, confused. "You could just have told me that you were friends with my dad."

"Not just friends. Next page."

Aaron flipped the page and gasped. "You dated my dad?!"

Sirius handed him the shoebox and left the room.

Aaron opened and found more pictures, and letters. There were weddings and birthdays, and others taken for no special occasion. It was obvious that Sirius' relationship with his father was more than a high school romance. There were documents spanning more than eight years. Stuff up until six or seven months before he was born. Then it abruptly stopped. A feeling of dread was beginning to come over him. It was as if the answer to this puzzle was right before him, but his subconscious refused to accept it. He went back to the kitchen where Sirius was pouring out another generous portion of straight whiskey.

Very quietly he said, "I don't know what to say."

The shaken man tossed back another gulp of alcohol.

"There's no proof," Aaron said.

"You are the proof," Sirius said firmly. "I don't know- I can't understand why I didn't see it before."

"It's not your fault! You didn't know."

"I should have known. I should have realized. Seen him in you. Do you understand? Do you get this? Are you horrified? Because I kind of feel like killing myself."

"Sirius. You are being over dramatic-"

"You are my fucking son! My child! We share fucking DNA! This is incest, it's a crime." Sirius started sobbing. "God. What am I supposed to do?"

Aaron wavered, his instinct told him go comfort; his newfound knowledge told him to run away and hide from this horrible, horrible thing. "I should go." But he didn't. "I just can't believe. My whole life I wanted to know my father. I would rather have died than have this happen."

"Me too. Me too."

Aaron turned to go but Sirius stopped him with one last request. "You're free to do whatever you want. Just don't tell Remus. He's spent this long hiding from me, it would kill him to know this happened."

"I know. I won't."

Sirius waited for the door to shut, then burst into heart-rending sobs. He felt he might shatter with the pain and the horror of it.

********************

Aaron was moping around his own home when he got the news. There was a knock on the door. For a second there was a wild leaping hope that it might be Sirius. Then he remembered how awful that would be. It turned out to be even worse than that. Two uniformed policemen were standing in the hall.

"I'm terribly sorry Mr. Brunson. Sirius Black committed suicide yesterday. He left a note for you."

Aaron took the proffered note numbly.

"May I ask what your relationship to the deceased was? I'm sorry, it's for public record."

Aaron just stared at the thing in his hands.

"Mr. Brunson?"

"He was... my father."

The funeral was small. The only people there were Aaron and a few people he assumed to be the Potters and a few others that could only have been Sirius' family. Afterwards he approached them.

"You're James and Lily Potter?" he asked softly.

They looked up, teary-eyed and nodded. They shook hands politely as Lily directed two teenagers to go to the car. "Who are you? Did you know Sirius well?" she asked.

Aaron gulped and nodded. "I'm Aaron Brunson. I have to tell you something. I'm sorry but it cannot wait. I simply want to let you know what happened and then be left to my grief. Sirius and I... we were lovers in the beginning. We loved each other... so much. We thought we'd both found the one. We were so happy. But then... it was horrible. I should never have left him alone that night." He had started crying again and took a long pause to steady himself. "We were talking, just this perfectly normal discussion, and the topic of my father came up. Apparently you both used to be friends with him, Remus Lupin. Remus never told me the name of my other father, I never knew what he looked like. As it turned out Sirius was that father."

Lily gasped and put a hand over her mouth.

"He said he felt like killing himself, but I didn't think... I should have stayed, should have done something. I didn't know what he'd done until the cops were at my door. By then it was too late. Understand, Remus doesn't know anything about this. As his son, I have made the decision not to make his life any harder by telling him. I must go now, please don't try to contact me. I have lost twice over, and I'd rather forget my guilt and move on."

Lily and James stood together, stunned into silence and the young man walked away from the grave of his lover and father without looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

Aaron kept his promise to Sirius; it was easy to since Remus didn't go to Sirius' funeral, they hadn't spoken in so long that Remus said he didn't think he even counted as an acquaintance. Aaron didn't tell him that he went Unfortunately, he hadn't counted on Lily and James Potter deciding to renew their friendship with Remus.

Aaron swept rain-soaked hair out of his eyes and knocked twice on his father's door. Rain dripped from the tip of his nose as he waited. Finally, he let himself in. Three heads turned to look at him, the graying blond hair of his father, and two less familiar, Lily Potter's still-fiery red one and James Potter messy black one.

"Aaron!" his father cried. "I had no idea you were coming."

Aaron quirked an eyebrow. "Well, I didn't tell you so how could you have known?"

Remus chucked. "Very funny. Anyway, these are the Potters. You've ever met, but they're old friends of mine from Hogwarts.

Aaron shifted uncomfortably, realizing suddenly what the Potters could tell his father, "Actually, we have. I- I went to Sirius' funeral," he admitted, a trifle guiltily.

Remus, completely nonplussed, look from his son, to his friends, and back again. "How- how did you even know? I didn't even know until it was over... it wasn't in the paper was it?"

The Potters shook their heads in unison, now distinctly uncomfortable. James stood up, pulling Lily with him by the arm.

"We should go," he said.

Remus, befuddled, waved him down. "No, no. Not at all..."

"No, really. We should go," James said firmly. "Lils..."

"Good-bye, Remus," she said, giving him a hug. "I hope we see you again soon."

They went out quietly; Aaron shut the door behind them with a soft click.

"What is going on? What are you not telling me?" he demanded.

Aaron couldn't meet his eye. Irrationally, he felt as though he had done something wrong, though he knew that, technically, he hadn't.

"Dad, I don't- I think-," he inhaled deeply and released it slowly. "There's something I should have told you before. Honestly, I wasn't planning on telling you. Ever. Sirius- Sirius made me promise I wouldn't say anything."

Remus kept getting whiter and whiter. He moved to a cabinet in the corner of the living room, opened it, removed a small glass and a bottle of whiskey, and poured himself a generous measure. He gulped it down and poured another. "You're going to tell me something awful aren't you?"

Aaron nodded. "Several months ago, I met the man of my dreams. And just when I was about to tell you, you know, make the grand announcement, he figured out that I was a wizard. He was too, so I was thinking, 'Damn, this just keeps getting better and better. I'll never have to hide anything from him.' And then he asks if I went to Hogwarts, 'cause that's where he went as a kid. I did, and we're laughing and having a grand old time remembering and what not, and then I mention you."

Remus looked up in shock.

"Turns out you two knew each other. Pretty well, in fact. He figured it out, of course. He was... really upset. I mean, _really_, upset. Said he didn't know how he didn't realize in the first place, except you never told him that you were pregnant... speaking of which, why did you never tell me that you two were together for years before I came along? You let me believe for my entire life that I was the product of meaningless sex." Aaron switched from sad to angry in a heartbeat, and all of a sudden, all the vile thoughts he had been suppressing came spilling out. "Why didn't you tell me Dad? Why cover it up? What could possibly have happened that you could block a person out of your life to that extent? What about _my_ feelings? My whole childhood I asked about my other father and you lied to me! I don't understand! Why couldn't you just tell me? And then, I fucking slept with him! Do you know how that makes me feel? I was _in love with him_ and I never even got to say good-bye! Because he was so torn up when he found out that he killed himself!"

Aaron stopped shouting at his father, his voice choked by sobbing. "None of this would have happened if you had just told me the truth. Or him."

Remus' face was buried in his hands. Ho took them away and his face was streaked with tears. "I'm so sorry Aaron. I never meant for any of this to happen. I was a coward, I made a mistake not telling you. But believe me, I never thought this would happen. If I could do anything to change it I would do it in a heartbeat."

"But you can't Dad. You can't."


End file.
